The Spider & the Fly - Multimedia Painting

Project List
-canvas ( I used a 12" x 12")
-acrylic paint ( I used red, purple, light green and black)
-glitter paint
-yarn to match your spider web
-felt (red, black and dark blue)
-googly eyes or pom-poms or both!
-glue ( I used a low temp gun so as to avoid injury)
-embroidery floss
-fiber fill
-brushes
-drink of choice

Now I know what you're thinking, that looks like a laundry list up there but this is an easy project. Start by making yourself a drink. I had a grape bomb (redbull and grape vodka.) cover the area with a trash bag to keep the mess down.

Step One
Using a light color for the center, I chose red, splatter some paint directly onto the canvas. About halfway to the edge of the canvas spatter your medium color, purple in this case and then squish out some black in each of the four corners. Take a large paint brush or one of those cheapy sponge on a stick thingees and swirl the colors around in a circle until you have something that looks like a vortex to hell. This is your lovely backdrop for the spiderweb. Feel free to spatter black paint anywhere around the surface to give it some texture...or not. Have fun with it. We're not too picky. You should be done your first drink by now or at least wondering why you put so much ice in it. Coat the outer edge of the canvas in black as well so you can be lazy and not worry about framing your art. When you're done it will look like this:



Note the awesome swirliness of it! Relax for a few minutes with your drink while the acrylic dries. Get more ice if you have to but you're only ruining the flavor.

Step Two
Take a light color like white or light green or anything you feel is spider web-esque and loosely paint a spiderweb. You can draw it on with a paint pen if your hands are no longer steady. It should dry almost instantly. Give it a few sips.

Step Three
Get the glitter! Trace out the spider web with the glitter paint. It's starting to come together. I mixed my paint directly on the trash bag because palettes are expensive and I was out of paper plates.

The glitter will take at least twenty minutes to dry. So it's time to assemble the Spider and the fly. If you're really feeling it because you were foolish enough to begin crafting after shots, stop and let it dry overnight. Then move on to the Spider and the Fly.

Step 4
There is some sewing involved in this step. If you have double vision by now, you might want to glue the felt instead of sewing. But remember, we only use simple white craft glue when under the influence. Nothing's worse then hot gluing your face or the cat...or your face to the cat.

I cut 2 ovals each for the bodies and slightly rounder 2 ovals each for the heads. Using a whip stitch I sewed the pieces together. If your skill level is not up to sewing, just glue everything. It will take longer to dry but it'll look just as fabulous.
The spider's legs are made of yarn. Just 4 pieces of thick and chunky yarn and tie them in a knot. Glue or sew the knot into the center. I also stitched a length of yarn the same color as my glitter web to the back of the spider so he can hang. Googly eyes were glued on and for fun I added a glitter hourglass to my spider's back. The fly has pom-pom eyes with a dab of black paint for pupils.

Remember, you are drunk. If card stock spider and fly are all you can manage in your state, cut paper. Just remember to use safety scissors in your condition that's probably all you can handle. Wings on the fly are optional. Use ribbon, paper or just paint them onto the canvas.

Step Five
Assemble. Using the low temp glue gun, wrap a piece of the yarn that matches the web around the fly and glue him to the canvas. Have fun placing him. He doesn't have to match mine. That would take the fun out of it.

Give it like three-four seconds to cool then glue the length of yarn attached to the spider to the canvas. The only advice I'm going to give you here is: Make sure it looks like part of the painted web. Otherwise it'll just look like a crappy version of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

You are now done. It should look similar to but hopefully not exactly the same as mine. Celebratory shots all around! Or you could look at the close-ups first and then....Celebratory shots all around! Make mine an apple pie shot!

Why Craft Sober?

Crafting is fun. Drinking is fun. So why not do them together?

Creating art takes intensity, imagination, cleverness and the complete silencing of the inner critique. I've found that the best silencer for that crabby little voice inside my head that critiques my whip stitching is vodka...or rum if I happen to be out of vodka...or wine if I'm out of the good stuff. As long as you forgo the obvious dangers of sharp scissors, needles and hot glue, drunk crafting can be a rewarding and entertaining experience.

So break out a bottle of your favorite liquor and join me in silencing the inner critic and loosening up your crafting inhibitions. But do the knit parts while sober because it's all fun and games until someone gets a knitting needle up their nose.